I hate journalistic writing

[Jonathon]

1. Newspaper writing has a weird tradition about putting the day of the week in weird spots. Usually it's right after the subject, so it would be "Gary Herbert Monday half-jokingly converted" or maybe "Gary Herbert half-jokingly Monday converted". So this seems like a slight improvement over those options, but "on Monday Gary Herbert half-jokingly converted" would be best.
2. I don't think "gas stations" is part of the name, so it shouldn't be capped. And I think it's okay to use "its" there because it's referring to the company as a whole and not to each individual gas station. But it is weird to switch from "its" to "they" later on in the sentence. Either you're talking about them collectively or you're not.
3. Technically, "converted" doesn't have an object there. It can be either a transitive or an intransitive verb, so it doesn't always need an object. You can say that x converted y to z or just that x converted y or even just x converted, as in "Steve converted the PDF [object] to EPS [complement]" or "Steve converted the PDF [object]" or "Steve converted to Christianity [complement]."
4. I don't know if it didn't get edited, but it doesn't seem terribly well written.

[Keith]

Thanks for illuminating. It took me long enough to understand the first sentence of the article that I got irritated and decided to look for things to criticize, heh.

[Jonathon]

I think one major problem with newspaper writing is that it tries to cram too much information into one sentence, and then you trip over things or have to read it a couple of times to figure out what's actually new and relevant and what's just background info.

Something like this isn't a huge rewrite, but I think it would help a lot:

On Monday, after 10 years as Utah’s governor, Gary Herbert half-jokingly became a salesman for Speedway gas stations. Speedway is about to become the first line of gas stations in the state to sell much cleaner “Tier 3” gasoline.

It's still a stupid lede, but at least it's broken up into reasonable chunks. The mention of Marathon Petroleum can be moved a little later in the story.

[pooka]

The day of the week might be the most syntactically motile word that can be repositioned to maximize headline size. Chrome is offended by reposition.  What say ya'll?

[Keith]

A retired federal judge appointed to oppose the Justice Department’s bid to dismiss former national security adviser Michael Flynn’s guilty plea to lying to the FBI requested on Monday a hearing for oral arguments after he briefs the court.

I don't know WaPo's style guide at all, but I sort of think they should have had some commas in there for clarity:

A retired federal judge, appointed to oppose the Justice Department’s bid to dismiss former national security adviser Michael Flynn’s guilty plea to lying to the FBI, requested on Monday a hearing for oral arguments after he briefs the court.

[Jonathon]

Most style guides would call that whole middle section a restrictive modifier and thus not use commas around it. But this is probably one area where overly strict adherence to the rule makes the sentence harder to read.

I think the real problem, yet again, is that journalists try to pack too much information into a single sentence so that they don't have to spend a whole paragraph explaining the backstory before they get to the real news.

Side note: I find the placement of "on Monday" in that sentence really bizarre.

[rivka]

I think the real problem, yet again, is that journalists try to pack too much information into a single sentence so that they don't have to spend a whole paragraph explaining the backstory before they get to the real news.

Yeah, I hate this.

[rivka]

I found this article amusing, but the title line ticked me off enough that I was halfway through writing an email to CNN, when I went looking for a dictionary link. WTH?!?

When on earth did refusenik gain a meaning essentially the opposite of the real one??

[Jonathon]

Huh. I'm not really familiar with the word, but I think I've only encountered it in sense 2. The OED dates sense 1 to 1973 and sense 2 to 1981, so it's apparently been around a while.

But yeah, that's really weird that it's gone from "a person who is refused permission to do something" to "a person who refuses to do something". It's basically an autoantonym.

[rivka]

I'm not really familiar with the word

Which just means you are not Jewish and were not following world news in the early-to-mid-80s.

It is a word I am very familiar with, and which has very strong emotional associations for me.

But yeah, that's really weird that it's gone from "a person who is refused permission to do something" to "a person who refuses to do something". It's basically an autoantonym.

Yeah, exactly.

[Jonathon]

Which just means you are not Jewish and were not following world news in the early-to-mid-80s.

Yeah, when I saw the first definition, I thought, "Well, I guess it's no surprise that Rivka cares about this use while I didn't even know it was an issue."

It is a word I am very familiar with, and which has very strong emotional associations for me.

I can definitely see how this usage would be very jarring. Like I said, I'm not sure I've even encountered it that much, let alone used it, but it's something I'll definitely notice in the future.

[rivka]

Great.

If only I stood a chance of convincing CNN's title-writers.

[Ela]

I have to admit that the way CNN used it doesn't bother me that much. I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought if Rivka hadn't brought it up.

[Tante Shvester]

Fungus full of psychedelic drugs could cause Indiana Brood X cicadas' butts to fall off

What a gorgeous headline that is.

[rivka]

And the article actually lives up to the title! That's awesome. And gross.

Also, good to see you around.

[Tante Shvester]

I know!  It's full of gorgeous lines like:

“It’s this gender-bending, death-zombie fungus”

“I thought, ‘oh crap: The DEA is going to come in here, tase me, and confiscate my flying saltshakers,’”

“Imagine if, after a lifetime underground, you only had a few glorious weeks to live in the sun, eat and mate,” she said. “And then your butt fell off.”

[Jonathon]

That's awesome.

Also, hey, Tante. *waves*

[Brinestone]

I know!  It's full of gorgeous lines like:

“It’s this gender-bending, death-zombie fungus”

“I thought, ‘oh crap: The DEA is going to come in here, tase me, and confiscate my flying saltshakers,’”

“Imagine if, after a lifetime underground, you only had a few glorious weeks to live in the sun, eat and mate,” she said. “And then your butt fell off.”

 

[rivka]

I know!  It's full of gorgeous lines like:

“It’s this gender-bending, death-zombie fungus”

“I thought, ‘oh crap: The DEA is going to come in here, tase me, and confiscate my flying saltshakers,’”

“Imagine if, after a lifetime underground, you only had a few glorious weeks to live in the sun, eat and mate,” she said. “And then your butt fell off.”

Yes!

And those aren't even all the good lines!

[Tante Shvester]

That's awesome.

Also, hey, Tante. *waves*

*waves back*

[pooka]

I enjoy videogames about fighting this kind of plague:
https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-57658859
5,000 year old man was 'oldest plague victim'

[pooka]

Man, this headline butchers things.  As if Omicron can remove vaccine efficacy against prior variants. 
https://www.cnbc.com/2021/12/07/omicron-significantly-reduces-covid-antibody-protection-in-small-study-of-pfizer-vaccine-recipients.html?recirc=taboolainternal

[rivka]

Considering that I have seen very similar (but not quite identical) headlines across all sorts of media outlets in the last few days, I strongly suspect that in this case the blame lies with whoever wrote the press release. And not as much with the journalists.

But yeah, it's a crappy, crappy headline.

[Jonathon]

I thought the same thing when I saw that the other day, Pooka.

That's not how this works! That's not how any of this works!

[pooka]

A sponsored link for "Nature's Morphine.".