But it ruins the lead sentence if we don't have it parallel.
To which I say that maybe it's a crappy lead if it relies on parallelism that produces such a weird mental image. And I hadn't even really thought about how it trivializes having a baby (or at least I hadn't articulated it that way, though it seems closely connected to my issues with it).
Also, I really hate having my concerns trivialized. "Nobody else found it confusing but you" implies that the problem is me, not the sentence. (I'm only slightly paraphrasing here.)