Quotes from work

[rivka]

Not these days. These days the audience is at least as likely to be chattering to each other, playing on their phones, etc. etc.

[Jonathon]

When Church members increase in self-reliance, they “stand independent above all other creatures” (D&C 78:14), learn to rely on God, and
work toward their salvation and eternal life. (emphasis added)

So increasing in self-reliance means learning to rely on God? That seems a little bit . . . contradictory.

[Jonathon]

Service brings a smile to most people’s faces, and [person]’s efforts are no exception. But the smiles he creates are literal and permanent.

That sounds horrifying.

[Porter]

But the smiles he creates are literal and permanent.

I, too, have seen Tim Burton's Batman.

[Kate Boots]

I hope to goodness he is a dentist.

[Jonathon]

He is. The piece was on how he does humanitarian dental trips to South and Central America. I just got a laugh (but not a permanent one) from the wording.

[Jonathon]

More than a quarter of BYU students are married, and many are handed a newborn before they are handed a diploma.

I totally get what it's saying, but the image that popped into my head was graduates lining up to receive a baby and then their diploma.

[rivka]

Yes! That is absolutely the image that sentence creates for me too.

[Porter]

Mary Cate and I were carrying our new baby around during the graduation ceremony for our BS degrees.

We were a BYU cliche.

[Jonathon]

More than a quarter of BYU students are married, and many are handed a newborn before they are handed a diploma.

I totally get what it's saying, but the image that popped into my head was graduates lining up to receive a baby and then their diploma.

Ugh. I've been overruled on this.

[Kate Boots]

Ugh is right.  Not only for the almost amusing picture of lining up to get a baby but because being "handed" a baby seems to me to trivialize bearing and parenting a child.

[Jonathon]

But it ruins the lead sentence if we don't have it parallel.

To which I say that maybe it's a crappy lead if it relies on parallelism that produces such a weird mental image. And I hadn't even really thought about how it trivializes having a baby (or at least I hadn't articulated it that way, though it seems closely connected to my issues with it).

Also, I really hate having my concerns trivialized. "Nobody else found it confusing but you" implies that the problem is me, not the sentence. (I'm only slightly paraphrasing here.)

[rivka]

Yeah, I've run into that attitude. Very rude, as well as shortsighted.

[rivka]

Recent conversation on my Registrars listserv about comments on grade rosters:

I have a good one - seriously, this was written by an instructor as a reason for a grade change submitted this week:
"Student missed 8 am final. Said he went coon hunting last night, shot one, ate it, got food poisoning. Can't make this stuff up. He is taking the final as I write this."
The Dean signed it. I simply replied to the Dean, "seriously?".

Maybe they just didn’t cook it right……

Probably forgot to drive long enough to preheat the radiator.

[Jonathon]

 

[Jonathon]

From the mission statement of one of my clients:

As an institution, we seek and follow the counsel and guidance of inspired leaders in harmony with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, its purposes, and in fulfilling our stated mission.

The nonparallelism is making me twitchy.

And I'm not even sure what it means. Their mission is to do these things in harmony with their mission?

[Kate Boots]

Are they saying that they seek and follow inspired leaders *who are* in harmony with...stated mission or that they seek the counsel...*while they themselves are in* harmony...mission?

[Jonathon]

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also from this client:

Strategic imperatives guiding [client] decisions and efforts:
1: Serving and blessing the lives of many more students on our Salt
Lake City campus.
2: Be a hub of educational innovation, educating more deeply and more
powerfully than ever before.
3: Be an integral contributor to the BYU-Pathway Worldwide effort.

Again with the nonparallel constructions.

[Jonathon]

She provided financial sales data and analysis to sales management and worked with sales representatives to forecast sales until she left in 2004.

I think the word sales has now lost all meaning for me.

[Jonathon]

[Name] said his biggest accomplishment is his wonderful marriage to his best friend and their six brilliant, meticulous, and understanding offspring.

Oh dear.

[rivka]

 

(to both)

[Brinestone]

[Software] possesses a high level of redundancy across the organization across different areas.

A high level of redundancy, you say? 

[Jonathon]

 

[Nighthawk]

[rivka]

1. Who is responsible for [specific item] at your institution? The Registrar, the Faculty, or another office?

Registrar.

2. Based on your answer to #1, is there a specific reason this person(s) is charged with [specific item]?

No one else wants to do it.

Yup, sounds about right.