Author Topic: Quotes from work (Read 180799 times)

BlackBlade · « **Reply #1350 on:** February 25, 2014, 08:14:16 PM »

Why couldn't Lot and Abraham go into the candy bar business together?

Jonathon · « **Reply #1351 on:** March 07, 2014, 02:32:54 PM »

Something I'm working on suggests this book as a resource for dealing with stress. I didn't want to refer people to it because most of the other sources are free or are probably available at the library, but then I started reading the testimonials.

Oh

my

gosh.

Quote

Since my first encounter with Jan Graf, he has helped my family, friends, and my Doctor clients with every condition common and uncommon known to man. Just to name a few: marital problems, dyslexia, headaches, emotional baggage about money and wealth, heart and lung conditions, as well as stress and emotional concerns too many to name.

This stress-management technique cures dyslexia and heart disease!

Quote

The changes were astonishing. I lost 65 pounds in eight weeks, without dieting, medication or exercise. The diabetic and high blood pressure problems went almost immediately, likewise my leukemia problems.

And cancer!

Quote

As you know, we had been trying to have another baby for 4 years. The day my husband saw you for the problems that he was having due to stress you discovered why I wasn’t getting pregnant. According to my doctor I got pregnant that night.

And sterility!

Really, is there anything this amazing technique CAN'T do?

rivka · « **Reply #1352 on:** March 07, 2014, 02:49:54 PM »

Can it slice, dice, and mince?

Jonathon · « **Reply #1353 on:** March 07, 2014, 03:07:03 PM »

It can! And if you act now, we'll throw in a second one FREE!

BlackBlade · « **Reply #1354 on:** March 08, 2014, 06:50:26 PM »

Can I also pay $14.95 for shipping and handling?!

Jonathon · « **Reply #1355 on:** March 08, 2014, 07:27:42 PM »

You certainly can!

But wait, there's more! Be one of the first 500 callers, and we'll throw in this flexible LED book light FREE! That's a $25* value!

*Actually a $2.50 value. Someone in accounting probably made a decimal error.

Jonathon · « **Reply #1356 on:** March 11, 2014, 01:42:05 PM »

Quote

It was a stormy, multicultural night to remember and, in the morning light of Sunday’s temple dedication, still on the minds of the youth.

You can't make this stuff up.

Jonathon · « **Reply #1357 on:** March 11, 2014, 02:07:04 PM »

Quote

Long recognized in recent years . . .

rivka · « **Reply #1358 on:** March 11, 2014, 02:07:43 PM »

Quote from: Jonathon on March 11, 2014, 01:42:05 PM

You can't make this stuff up.

You're right, I can't. But someone clearly can.

Jonathon · « **Reply #1359 on:** March 11, 2014, 02:10:21 PM »

The really amazing thing is that they get paid to.

rivka · « **Reply #1360 on:** March 11, 2014, 02:22:26 PM »

Indeed.

dkw · « **Reply #1361 on:** March 11, 2014, 09:11:23 PM »

Are you ever tempted to send them back with a note that says "You're joking, right?"

Jonathon · « **Reply #1362 on:** March 11, 2014, 09:24:09 PM »

Oh, I've been tempted to write a great many things over the years. I have learned to sublimate those urges into snarky posts here and comments to my coworkers. Sometimes we've even had quote boards of really choice specimens.

rivka · « **Reply #1363 on:** March 11, 2014, 11:15:29 PM »

Quote from: Jonathon on March 11, 2014, 09:24:09 PM

Oh, I've been tempted to write a great many things over the years. I have learned to sublimate those urges into snarky posts here and comments to my coworkers.

Shvester!

Jonathon · « **Reply #1364 on:** March 12, 2014, 10:41:24 AM »

Quote from: rivka on March 11, 2014, 11:15:29 PM

Shvester!

Tante Shvester · « **Reply #1365 on:** March 12, 2014, 09:00:47 PM »

Noemon · « **Reply #1366 on:** April 03, 2014, 01:14:08 PM »

This morning my boss was talking about someone who was eager to get started on a project, and said that he was "biting at the chump" to begin. It was probably the most entertaining variant of "champing at the bit" that I've heard.

Jonathon · « **Reply #1367 on:** April 03, 2014, 01:55:00 PM »

That

is

awesome.

Noemon · « **Reply #1368 on:** April 03, 2014, 04:05:16 PM »

Isn't it, though?

Actually, this story reminds me that there was a question about her speech patterns that I was wanting to ask you.

:: dashes off to the "Ask the Expert" thread ::

Jonathon · « **Reply #1369 on:** April 23, 2014, 10:38:40 AM »

Quote

Visualizing occurs as students picture what is taking place.

Yeah, that's pretty much how it works.

Noemon · « **Reply #1370 on:** April 27, 2014, 09:35:14 PM »

BlackBlade · « **Reply #1371 on:** April 28, 2014, 07:06:29 AM »

Bwa ha ha.

rivka · « **Reply #1372 on:** April 28, 2014, 12:27:37 PM »

Quote

one in the same

BlackBlade · « **Reply #1373 on:** April 28, 2014, 12:54:06 PM »

Tante Shvester · « **Reply #1374 on:** April 28, 2014, 01:45:34 PM »

"run rapid over them"