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Author Topic: Quotes from work  (Read 188987 times)

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Offline BlackBlade

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1350 on: February 25, 2014, 08:14:16 PM »
Why couldn't Lot and Abraham go into the candy bar business together?
Kyrgyzstan, is the homeland of the Kyrgyzs, a people best known for cheating at Scrabble. -Tante Shvester

What, you expected us to be badly injured or dead, and flying blind to boot? You're the one who told us all to be Awesome. -Brinestone

Offline Jonathon

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1351 on: March 07, 2014, 02:32:54 PM »
Something I'm working on suggests this book as a resource for dealing with stress. I didn't want to refer people to it because most of the other sources are free or are probably available at the library, but then I started reading the testimonials.

Oh

my

gosh.

Quote
Since my first encounter with Jan Graf, he has helped my family, friends, and my Doctor clients with every condition common and uncommon known to man. Just to name a few: marital problems, dyslexia, headaches, emotional baggage about money and wealth, heart and lung conditions, as well as stress and emotional concerns too many to name.

This stress-management technique cures dyslexia and heart disease!

Quote
The changes were astonishing.  I lost 65 pounds in eight weeks, without dieting, medication or exercise.  The diabetic and high blood pressure problems went almost immediately, likewise my leukemia problems.

And cancer!

Quote
As you know, we had been trying to have another baby for 4 years.  The day my husband saw you for the problems that he was having due to stress you discovered why I wasn’t getting pregnant.  According to my doctor I got pregnant that night.

And sterility!

Really, is there anything this amazing technique CAN'T do?
You underestimate my ability to take things seriously!

Offline rivka

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1352 on: March 07, 2014, 02:49:54 PM »
Can it slice, dice, and mince?
"Sometimes you need a weirdo to tell you that things have gotten weird. Your normal friends, neighbors, and coworkers won’t tell you."
-Aaron Kunin

Offline Jonathon

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1353 on: March 07, 2014, 03:07:03 PM »
It can! And if you act now, we'll throw in a second one FREE!
You underestimate my ability to take things seriously!

Offline BlackBlade

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1354 on: March 08, 2014, 06:50:26 PM »
Can I also pay $14.95 for shipping and handling?!
Kyrgyzstan, is the homeland of the Kyrgyzs, a people best known for cheating at Scrabble. -Tante Shvester

What, you expected us to be badly injured or dead, and flying blind to boot? You're the one who told us all to be Awesome. -Brinestone

Offline Jonathon

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1355 on: March 08, 2014, 07:27:42 PM »
You certainly can!

But wait, there's more! Be one of the first 500 callers, and we'll throw in this flexible LED book light FREE! That's a $25* value!


*Actually a $2.50 value. Someone in accounting probably made a decimal error.
You underestimate my ability to take things seriously!

Offline Jonathon

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1356 on: March 11, 2014, 01:42:05 PM »
Quote
It was a stormy, multicultural night to remember and, in the morning light of Sunday’s temple dedication, still on the minds of the youth.

You can't make this stuff up.
You underestimate my ability to take things seriously!

Offline Jonathon

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1357 on: March 11, 2014, 02:07:04 PM »
Quote
Long recognized in recent years . . .
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Offline rivka

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1358 on: March 11, 2014, 02:07:43 PM »
You can't make this stuff up.
You're right, I can't. But someone clearly can.  >_<
"Sometimes you need a weirdo to tell you that things have gotten weird. Your normal friends, neighbors, and coworkers won’t tell you."
-Aaron Kunin

Offline Jonathon

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1359 on: March 11, 2014, 02:10:21 PM »
The really amazing thing is that they get paid to.
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Offline rivka

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1360 on: March 11, 2014, 02:22:26 PM »
Indeed.
"Sometimes you need a weirdo to tell you that things have gotten weird. Your normal friends, neighbors, and coworkers won’t tell you."
-Aaron Kunin

Offline dkw

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1361 on: March 11, 2014, 09:11:23 PM »
Are you ever tempted to send them back with a note that says "You're joking, right?"

Offline Jonathon

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1362 on: March 11, 2014, 09:24:09 PM »
Oh, I've been tempted to write a great many things over the years. I have learned to sublimate those urges into snarky posts here and comments to my coworkers. Sometimes we've even had quote boards of really choice specimens.
You underestimate my ability to take things seriously!

Offline rivka

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1363 on: March 11, 2014, 11:15:29 PM »
Oh, I've been tempted to write a great many things over the years. I have learned to sublimate those urges into snarky posts here and comments to my coworkers.
Shvester!
"Sometimes you need a weirdo to tell you that things have gotten weird. Your normal friends, neighbors, and coworkers won’t tell you."
-Aaron Kunin

Offline Jonathon

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1364 on: March 12, 2014, 10:41:24 AM »
You underestimate my ability to take things seriously!

Offline Tante Shvester

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1365 on: March 12, 2014, 09:00:47 PM »
:D
Fighting thread drift with guilt, reverse psychology, and chicken soup.
Sweet! Law of Moses loopholes! -- Anneke
I love Bones.  -- Sweet Clementine
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. -- anonymous

Offline Noemon

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1366 on: April 03, 2014, 01:14:08 PM »
This morning my boss was talking about someone who was eager to get started on a project,  and said that he was "biting at the chump" to begin. It was probably the most entertaining variant of "champing at the bit" that I've heard.
I wish more people were able to be like me. 
-Porter

I'm about perfect.
-pooka

I hope you have a wonderful adventure in Taiwan. Not a swashbuckling adventure, just a prawn flavored pringles adventure.

-pooka

Offline Jonathon

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1367 on: April 03, 2014, 01:55:00 PM »
That

is

awesome.

 :D
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Offline Noemon

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1368 on: April 03, 2014, 04:05:16 PM »
Isn't it, though?

Actually, this story reminds me that there was a question about her speech patterns that I was wanting to ask you.

:: dashes off to the "Ask the Expert" thread ::
I wish more people were able to be like me. 
-Porter

I'm about perfect.
-pooka

I hope you have a wonderful adventure in Taiwan. Not a swashbuckling adventure, just a prawn flavored pringles adventure.

-pooka

Offline Jonathon

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1369 on: April 23, 2014, 10:38:40 AM »
Quote
Visualizing occurs as students picture what is taking place.

Yeah, that's pretty much how it works.
You underestimate my ability to take things seriously!

Offline Noemon

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1370 on: April 27, 2014, 09:35:14 PM »
 :D
I wish more people were able to be like me. 
-Porter

I'm about perfect.
-pooka

I hope you have a wonderful adventure in Taiwan. Not a swashbuckling adventure, just a prawn flavored pringles adventure.

-pooka

Offline BlackBlade

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1371 on: April 28, 2014, 07:06:29 AM »
Bwa ha ha.
Kyrgyzstan, is the homeland of the Kyrgyzs, a people best known for cheating at Scrabble. -Tante Shvester

What, you expected us to be badly injured or dead, and flying blind to boot? You're the one who told us all to be Awesome. -Brinestone

Offline rivka

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1372 on: April 28, 2014, 12:27:37 PM »
Quote
one in the same
>_<
"Sometimes you need a weirdo to tell you that things have gotten weird. Your normal friends, neighbors, and coworkers won’t tell you."
-Aaron Kunin

Offline BlackBlade

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1373 on: April 28, 2014, 12:54:06 PM »
 :dizzy:
Kyrgyzstan, is the homeland of the Kyrgyzs, a people best known for cheating at Scrabble. -Tante Shvester

What, you expected us to be badly injured or dead, and flying blind to boot? You're the one who told us all to be Awesome. -Brinestone

Offline Tante Shvester

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Re: Quotes from work
« Reply #1374 on: April 28, 2014, 01:45:34 PM »
"run rapid over them"
Fighting thread drift with guilt, reverse psychology, and chicken soup.
Sweet! Law of Moses loopholes! -- Anneke
I love Bones.  -- Sweet Clementine
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. -- anonymous