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Author Topic: Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)  (Read 4282 times)

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Offline AFR

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« on: July 14, 2005, 09:39:08 AM »
Here's the sentence:

"It's been improved with the addition of specific nutrients which target and inhibit the symptoms associated with the aging process."

The "which" should be "that," right? This is something that was written a long time ago by someone else, and I'm having to proofread it today.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2005, 10:01:43 AM by AFR »
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Offline Jonathon

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2005, 09:42:44 AM »
Yes.
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Offline AFR

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2005, 09:43:29 AM »
Danke.
Hyperliteralness abhors irony.

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Offline AFR

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2005, 09:56:47 AM »
Another one:

"[Product] has been developed and manufactured in accordance with the [process], using an ultra-pure source of fresh fish oil, which tested free of toxins, pollutants, and heavy metals."

I want to remove the comma before which and change which to that.
Hyperliteralness abhors irony.

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Offline Brinestone

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2005, 10:33:28 AM »
I would leave the comma and the which because it looks like it's just additional (nonrestrictive) information about the fish oil.
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Offline AFR

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« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2005, 10:51:51 AM »
Hmm. Yeah, I can see it that way, too. I want to talk about the source, not the oil itself.
Hyperliteralness abhors irony.

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Offline Jonathon

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2005, 11:02:22 AM »
I disagree. I'd change it to that. Not all ultra-pure, fresh fish oil is necessarily free of toxins, pollutants, and heavy metals, so the clause is restrictive.
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Offline Brinestone

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2005, 11:12:44 AM »
Hm. I thought it was just added information clarifying what "ultra-pure, fresh" meant.
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Offline AFR

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« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2005, 12:28:51 PM »
Now, mind you, I want to describe the source as being free of toxins, etc.---not necessarily the fish oil. It's a small difference, but meaningful in this case.

I compromised. I took out the comma and kept the which. In my ear that sounded best.
Hyperliteralness abhors irony.

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Offline Jonathon

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2005, 03:03:34 PM »
Sounds good to me.
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Offline weezer

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2005, 04:18:07 PM »
You mean it "sounds well to me."
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Offline Jonathon

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2005, 05:01:54 PM »
>.<  
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Offline Annie Conjunction

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2005, 07:20:19 PM »
You should listen to her, you know.

Offline Slash the Berzerker

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2005, 08:21:29 PM »
I think he's drunk.
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Offline Brinestone

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2005, 09:03:22 PM »
I wouldn't know, being drunk myself.
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Offline weezer

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #15 on: July 14, 2005, 09:09:21 PM »
Can you just put your hip flask down for one minute?
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Offline Jonathon

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #16 on: July 15, 2005, 11:45:00 AM »
I'm an enabler.  :(  
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Offline Annie Subjunctive

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #17 on: July 15, 2005, 12:31:31 PM »
I think you need to dangle your participle a little better there, Ruth.
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Offline AFR

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Tell me I'm not drunk (another question!)
« Reply #18 on: July 15, 2005, 01:18:51 PM »
To much drink having affected me, that was a funny double-entendre.
Hyperliteralness abhors irony.

"No, actually I totally agree with AFR." --Annie Subjunctive