Author Topic: I hate journalistic writing (Read 99596 times)

Marianne Dashwood · « **Reply #450 on:** August 04, 2011, 07:46:05 PM »

Onion-like headlines from real newspapers.

Jonathon · « **Reply #451 on:** August 04, 2011, 07:48:28 PM »

rivka · « **Reply #452 on:** August 04, 2011, 09:25:42 PM »

I went about 6 weeks back. It was . . . interesting how many of those stories I had already read, and remembered. (Some of the ones I hadn't had dead links, darn it!)

pooka · « **Reply #453 on:** August 05, 2011, 07:20:34 AM »

I was mildly amused by the first page, but "bling wearing cannibals" got me laughing aloud and the literal one about Rihanna made me weep with laughter. But I probably need to stop and get some work done while the baby is sleeping. Right after I check the stuff board...

Brinestone · « **Reply #454 on:** August 10, 2011, 10:34:35 AM »

I have no idea how to parse this one: U.S. Killed Taliban Behind Afghanistan Helicopter Downing. The only way it makes sense grammatically is if the Taliban whom the U.S. killed is behind the helicopter downing, but if he (they?) is dead, how could he be behind anything? Or maybe they killed him after he downed the helicopter?

Jonathon · « **Reply #455 on:** August 10, 2011, 10:49:20 AM »

I think the latter interpretation is right, and the opening paragraph confirms it.

BlackBlade · « **Reply #456 on:** August 10, 2011, 01:25:05 PM »

Not necessarily, zombies are more than capable of bringing down a helicopter given favorable circumstances.

Jonathon · « **Reply #457 on:** August 23, 2011, 10:53:34 PM »

See how long it takes to find the verb of the main clause:

Quote

Up on the top of Kennecott's tailings pond, on a road that straddles a line between the north pond, which holds a lake of bluish-gray water, and the south pond, which looks like a native prairie with dry, blond wheat and juniper bushes dotting the fields, Paula Doughty, Kennecott tailings and water services manager, is talking about the mine's philosophy toward environmental stewardship.

rivka · « **Reply #458 on:** August 23, 2011, 11:07:30 PM »

Wow. I have a tendency towards long sentences, but that one is impressively bad.

Jonathon · « **Reply #459 on:** September 07, 2011, 07:53:28 PM »

Have I mentioned before that I hate headline conventions? Well, I do. It took me at least three tries to figure out how to parse this:

Quote

Pelosi Peeved Republicans Opt Out of Rebuttal to Obama Speech

The correct answer: "Pelosi [is] peeved [that] Republicans opt out of rebuttal to Obama speech."

Marianne Dashwood · « **Reply #460 on:** September 07, 2011, 09:12:50 PM »

… which would have been way longer and would have given the typesetter a cramp to have to write all the way out.

Jonathon · « **Reply #461 on:** September 07, 2011, 09:28:19 PM »

I can understand the need to abbreviate in paper, where space is limited (though I wonder why they don't make the headlines smaller so they can fit in more), but on the internet? What reason is there for carrying over confusing headline conventions to the internet?

rivka · « **Reply #462 on:** September 07, 2011, 09:50:48 PM »

Um . . .

Providing fodder for this thread?

BlackBlade · « **Reply #463 on:** September 08, 2011, 09:00:49 AM »

Quote from: rivka on September 07, 2011, 09:50:48 PM

Um . . .

Providing fodder for this thread?

Winner!

The Genuine · « **Reply #464 on:** September 08, 2011, 07:53:45 PM »

Jonathon, you don't read the New York Post much, do you.

Jonathon · « **Reply #465 on:** September 08, 2011, 07:56:19 PM »

I try to avoid it as a general rule.

rivka · « **Reply #466 on:** December 22, 2011, 10:38:38 AM »

2nd bacterial infection reported in Missouri baby

Without reading the article, how many babies have how many bacterial infections?

Jonathon · « **Reply #467 on:** December 22, 2011, 10:49:05 AM »

I feel like I read something about similar constructions just recently, but I can't remember where it was. It can be read as the second infection in one baby or the second baby with an infection. Headline writers don't seem to pay much attention to the ambiguity.

rivka · « **Reply #468 on:** December 22, 2011, 11:06:41 AM »

To my ear, only the first meaning (the wrong one) is easily deciphered.

Of course, the fact that the suspected culprit (baby formula) isn't in the headline at all is a bigger issue.

Jonathon · « **Reply #469 on:** December 22, 2011, 11:23:56 AM »

Quote

To my ear, only the first meaning (the wrong one) is easily deciphered.

The condensed nature of headlinese certainly doesn't help.

Quote

Of course, the fact that the suspected culprit (baby formula) isn't in the headline at all is a bigger issue.

True. Something like "Formula Suspected in Infant Infections" would have been better.

And here's the link I was thinking of. The relevant part is about halfway down, in the part about the Duggars.

rivka · « **Reply #470 on:** December 22, 2011, 12:11:37 PM »

Quote from: Jonathon on December 22, 2011, 11:23:56 AM

Something like "Formula Suspected in Infant Infections" would have been better.

Exactly. They should hire you!

Jonathon · « **Reply #471 on:** December 22, 2011, 12:18:57 PM »

I appreciate the thought, but heaven forbid I ever work in journalism.

BlackBlade · « **Reply #472 on:** December 22, 2011, 12:43:49 PM »

Quote from: Jonathon on December 22, 2011, 12:18:57 PM

I appreciate the thought, but heaven forbid I ever work in journalism.

Heaven hereby forbids you to ever work in journalism!

rivka · « **Reply #473 on:** December 22, 2011, 01:29:52 PM »

Quote from: Jonathon on December 22, 2011, 12:18:57 PM

I appreciate the thought, but heaven forbid I ever work in journalism.

I hear and understand.

Jonathon · « **Reply #474 on:** December 22, 2011, 06:56:33 PM »

Here's another good option: "Wal-Mart pulls formula after baby dies in Missouri".