Quotes from work

[BlackBlade]

*snort* So that's awesome.

[Porter]

If I ever worked in that area of the code, I'd try awfully hard to come up with an excuse to make something called AnalBumCover.

[Annie Subjunctive]

I work on a software project that has been around for decades.

Part of it was written back in the DOS days when you were limited to an 8-character filename plus a 3-character extension, so there was a lot of abbreviating in order to pack as much info into a few characters.  This sort of abbreviation became embedded in the company culture and continued long after it was no longer necessary.

This is especially humorous when dealing with the "Analysis" code.  Here are some of the labels dealing with analysis:

AnalDim
AnalView
AnalWin
AnalWinControlWrapper
ANAL_DIM_LIST
ANAL_VIEW_OPTIONS
ANAL_VIEW_PROF_OPTIONS
ANAL_VIEW_SHOW_OPTIONS
ANAL_VIEW_SIZE_OPTIONS

The last one is the worst.

[Nighthawk]

That kind of reminds me of when I worked at [REDACTED]... The person who was responsible for the text engine of the graphics package we were working on was also (1) the worst speller I've ever seen, and (2) the CEO of the company. Since he was the boss, no one could really tell him how horrible of a speller he was, much less that someone with such abysmal spelling should be responsible for things in the application relating to text. Like the spell checker, for example.

So two examples come to mind:

1) There actually was a procedure in the application defined as "bool WordIsReallyMisspeeled(char* str)". I 'm pretty sure that wasn't on purpose.

2) The CEO kept misspelling "bezier" as "beizer", which ended up being a problem for constant definitions and whatnot. In order to not have to worry about it, the following line appeared in the first include file:

#define     BEIZER     BEZIER

So now he could spell it wrong as often as he liked.

[Tante Shvester]

"Nobody drives into the city -- there's too much traffic."

[Jonathon]

That makes perfect sense.

[rivka]

It would if all the traffic were from people who live and work in the city.

However, since that is patently untrue . . . .

[Porter]

#define     BEIZER     BEZIER

*twitch*

[Tante Shvester]

It's like I work with Yogi Berra.

[Jonathon]

The LDS Church style guide insists on capitalizing all personal pronouns referring to deity (with the curious exception of you/your/yours). I think it's annoying enough to capitalize "he" and "his" all the time, but it looks downright bizarre when using a different pronoun:

. . . which helps us draw near to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and to learn of Them.

It just looks awkward and ominous and draws undue attention to itself. Also, it makes me think of Them.

[BlackBlade]

The LDS Church style guide insists on capitalizing all personal pronouns referring to deity (with the curious exception of you/your/yours)

Duh, because it's "Thee/Thy/Thine". We never say you/your/yours when referring to God.

[Jonathon]

Exactly. This is what the style guide says:

Avoid using the second-person pronouns you and your in references to Deity. However, if they are used, lowercase them:

“Heavenly Father, are you there?”

I guess if you're going to be so brazen as to use the informal and unsanctioned you, you should just forget about capitalizing it.

[rivka]

I guess if you're going to be so brazen as to use the informal and unsanctioned you, you should just forget about capitalizing it.

[BlackBlade]

I laughed out loud.

[Jonathon]

This was offered as a "useful scripture" on a section of a document on sexual purity:

Make not thy gift known unto any save it be those who are of thy faith. Trifle not with sacred things.

So if we're taking "gift" to be a euphemism for "sex", can we assume that it's okay to make your gift known to anyone of your faith?

[Tante Shvester]

But what about outreach?  Isn't that what the missionary position is all about?

[Jonathon]

 

[Brinestone]

You guys are cracking me the heck up today. Well done.

[Jonathon]

Managers should never pry into what the employee’s medical condition is or share the medical condition with others, except HR.

Got it. Only infect Human Resources.

[rivka]

*snerk*

[Jonathon]

Then read Doctrine and Covenants 128:8, looking for a different way Joseph Smith taught that this statement can be written

Writers, please stop trying to cram so much into one sentence.

[Tante Shvester]

Please. Please.  It's an "advance directive", not an "advanced directive".  The directive itself isn't far ahead of its time, it was just made up in advance of its implementation.

It's been wrong so many times and and then  copied so many times and then quoted so many times that I see it the wrong way much more than the right way.

[Annie Subjunctive]

Then read Doctrine and Covenants 128:8, looking for a different way Joseph Smith taught that this statement can be written

Writers, please stop trying to cram so much into one sentence.

I was editing my own writing this morning. I'm terrible at this.

[Jonathon]

I just came across the quote "prescribing what Rome [prohibited]" in a manual I'm proofreading. Curious about the bracketed replacement, I checked the original and found that it reads "prescribing what Rome proscribed." It's a nice turn of phrase, but I guess we don't have any faith in the ability of readers (in this case seminary students) to either understand it or look up the word if they don't. And another editor told me to leave it as is instead of changing it back to the way the original quote has it.

Sigh.

[BlackBlade]

One more little defeat on the ultimate road to dumb.