I've got a passage here of spoken English, and I'm trying to figure out the best way to punctuate it.
Well, sir, I think that we need to establish what our priorities are. I
submit that they are first, getting off this rock alive and with our ship
intact. Second, doing so soon enough that we can rendesvous with the
Kookaburra. Third, save our friends if and only if they want to be
rescued. And at distant fourth, there's saving a million people from the
clutches of pirates, the mafia, or worse.
Right now I have it broken up into sentence fragments. Is there a way which reads better?
I'm not concerned about it being proper or not -- like I said, this is spoken English, and people really do talk like that, numbering items as they go. I just want to figure out the best way to punctuate it so that it reads well.
Ideas?
