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Author Topic: Editing help  (Read 1086 times)

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Offline Brinestone

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Editing help
« on: October 06, 2004, 03:39:33 PM »
Quote
The glory of God is defined as being both “light and truth” (D&C 93:36) and to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39).

Okay, I'm pretty sure this is nonparallel. However, "to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" is a noun phrase, even if it is an infinitival phrase and not a "normal" noun like light or truth. So because of that, is this okay? It reads funny to me.

And if it does need to be changed, what's a good way to do that without making it a wordy, yucky mess? Many thanks for your help.
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Offline Jonathon

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Editing help
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2004, 03:48:24 PM »
Just because they're both noun phrases doesn't mean they're parallel.


In my opinion, the two ideas expressed in that sentence are different enough that they shouldn't be crammed together into one sentence. I'd break it up.
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