Messages

1

English & Linguistics / Dashes, hypens, and other lines

« on: July 03, 2008, 10:09:23 AM »

Why don't you look closer? Yes, that's it . . . closer . . .

2

English & Linguistics / George Carlin on English Language Usage

« on: June 23, 2008, 10:19:17 AM »

Note that the context is in sports programming. When was the last time you sat through, say, a baseball game?

A year or so ago, but I'll freely admit that it's the only one I've ever been to.  I thought that he was arguing that sports people were ruining the turn of phrase, though, which suggests to me that he thought that their misuse of the term was spreading outisde of the bounds of the sports world.  Is that not what he meant?

I'm tired of television announcers, hosts, newscaster, and commentators, nibbling away at the English language, making obvious and ignorant mistakes.

Though I think his concern is also that the widespread misuse of the term has caused people to misuse it also.

Though the next question is, how many people do you have regular conversations with who watch a lot of sports and would generally just ditto what the sports commentators say? I maybe have two or three people I know like this, but my eyes generally gloss over when they start talking sports, even though I've found myself enjoying the odd Brewers game and, as of last season, have become quite the Packers fan. They just don't say anything original or particularly insightful (and the conversation is usually laced with a lot of jargon), so my interest wanes and I doubt I'd catch even the most glaring of gaffs.

3

English & Linguistics / George Carlin on English Language Usage

« on: June 23, 2008, 09:39:10 AM »

Note that the context is in sports programming. When was the last time you sat through, say, a baseball game?

4

English & Linguistics / George Carlin on English Language Usage

« on: June 23, 2008, 09:25:10 AM »

goofy,

I don't think that's his point. His point is that the original meaning is different, but more accurate than its current usage. The further problem being that the usage is warped by under-educated media types.

5

English & Linguistics / George Carlin on English Language Usage

« on: June 23, 2008, 08:09:50 AM »

Been finding a lot of quotes online that fit with conversations I've had recently:

I'm tired of television announcers, hosts, newscaster, and commentators, nibbling away at the English language, making obvious and ignorant mistakes. If I were in charge of America's broadcast stations and networks, I would gather together all the people whose jobs include speaking to the public, and I would not let them out of the room until they had absorbed the following suggestions. I'm aware that media personalities are not selected on the basis of intelligence. I know that, and I try to make allowances for it. Believe me, I really try. But still ⦠There are some liberties taken with speech that I think require intervention, if only for my own sake. I won't feel right if this chance goes by, and I keep my silence.

The English word forte, meaning "specialty" or "strong point," is not pronounced "for-tay." Got that? It is pronounced "fort." The Italian word forte, used in music notation, is pronounced "for-tay," and it instructs the musician to play loud: "She plays the skin flute, and her forte [fort] is playing forte [for-tay]." Look it up. And don't give me that whiny s***, "For-tay is listed as the second preference." There's a reason it's second: because it's not first!

Irony deals with opposites; it has nothing to do with coincidence. If two baseball palyers from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. It is a coincidence. If Barry Bonds attains lifetime statistics identical to his father's it will not be ironic. It will be a coincidence. Irony is "a state of affairs that is the reverse of what was to be expected; a result opposite to and in mockery of the appropriate result." For instance:

        * If a diabetic, on his way to buy insulin, is killed by a runaway truck, he is the victim of an accident. If the truck was delivering sugar, he is the victim of an oddly poetic coincidence. But if the truck was delivering insulin, ah! Then he is the victim of an irony.

        * If a Kurd, after surviving bloody battle with Saddam Hussein's army and a long, difficult escape through the mountains, is crushed and killed by a parachute drop of humanitarian aid, that, my friend, is irony writ large.

        * Darryl Stingley, the pro football player, was paralyzed after a brutal hit by Jack Tatum. Now Darryl Stingley's son plays football, and if the son should become paralyzed while playing, it will not be ironic. It will be coincidental. If Darryl Stingley's son paralyzes someone else, that will be closer to ironic. If he paralyzes Jack Tatum's son that will be precisely ironic.

I'm tired of hearing prodigal being used to mean "wandering, given to running away or leaving and returning." The parable in the Book of Luke tells of a son who squanders his father's money. Prodigal means "recklessly wasteful or extravagant." And if you say popular usage has changed that, I say, f*** popular usage!

The phrase sour grapes does not refer to jealousy or envy. Nor is it related to being a sore loser. It deals with the rationalization of failure to attain a desired end. In the original fable by Aesop, "The Fox and the Grapes," when the fox realizes he cannot leap high enough to reach the grapes, he rationalizes that even if he had gotten them, they would probably have been sour anyway. Rationalization, that's all sour grapes means. It doesn't mean deal with jealousy or sore losing. Yeah, I know you say, "Well many people are using it that way, so the meaning is changing." And I say, "Well many people are really f****n' stupid too, shall we just adopt all their standards?"

Strictly speaking, celibate does not mean not having sex, it means not being married. No wedding. The practice of refraining from sex is called chastity or sexual abstinence. No f******. Priests don't take a vow of celibacy, they take a vow of chastity. Sometimes referred to as the "no-nookie clause."

And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was concieved in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.

Proverbial is now being used to describe things that don't appear in proverbs. For instance, "the proverbial drop in the bucket" is incorrect because "a drop in the bucket" is not a proverb, it's a metaphor. You wouldn't say, "as welcome as a turd in the proverbial punchbowl," or "as cold as the proverbial nun's box," because neither refers to a proverb. The former is a metaphor, the latter is a simile.

Momentarily means for a moment, not in a moment. The word for "in a moment" is presently "I will be there presently, Dad, and then, after pausing momentarily, I will kick you in the nuts."

No other option and no other alternative are redundant. The words option and alternative already imply otherness. "I had no option, Mom, I got this huge erection because there was no alternative." This rule is not optional; the alternative is to be wrong.

You should not use criteria when you mean criterion for the same reason that you should not use criterion when you mean criteria. These is my only criterions.

A light-year is a measurement of distance, not time. "It will take light years for young basketball players to catch up with the number of women Wilt Chamberlain has f*****, "is a scientific impossibility. Probably in more ways than one.

An acronym is not just any set of initials. It applies only to those that are pronounced as words. MADD, DARE, NATO, and UNICEF are acronyms. FBI, CIA, and KGB are not. They're just pricks.

I know I'm fighting a losing battle with this one, but I refuse to surrender: Collapsing a building with explosives is not an implosion. An implosion is a very specific scientific phenomenon. The collapsing of a building with explosives is the collapsing of a building with explosives. The explosives explode, and the building collapses inwardly. That is not an implosion. It is an inward collapsing of a building, following a series of smaller explosions designed to make it collapse inwardly. Period. F*** you!

Here's another pointless, thankless objection I'd like to register. I say it that way, because I know you people and your g**d*** "popular usage" slammed the door on this one a long time ago. But here goes anyway:

A cop out is not an excuse, not even a weak one; it is an admission of guilt. When someone "cops a plea," he admits guilt to some charge, in exchange for better treatment. He has "copped out." When a guy says, "I didn't get to f*** her because I reminded her of her little brother," he is making an excuse. If he says, "I didn't get to f*** her because I'm an unattractive schmuck," he is copping out. The trouble arises when an excuse contains a small amount of self-incriminating truth.

This one is directed to the sports people: You are destroying a perfectly good figure of speech: "Getting the monkey off one's back" does not mean breaking a losing streak. It refers only to ending a dependency. That's all. The monkey represents a strong yen. A loosing streak does not compare even remotely. Not in a literary sense and not in real life.

Here's one you hear from the truly dense: "The proof is in the pudding." Well, the proof is not in the pudding; the rice and raisins are in the pudding. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. In this case, proof means "test." The same is true of "the exception that proves (tests) the rule."

An eye for an eye is not a call for revenge, it is an argument for fairness. In the time of the Bible, it was standard to take a life in exchange for an eye. But the Bible said, No, the punishment should fit the crime. Only and eye for an eye, nothing more. It is not vindictive, it is mitigatory.

Don't make the same mistake twice seems to indicate three mistakes, doesn't it? First you make the mistake. Then you make the same mistake. Then you make the same mistake twice. If you simply say, "Don't make the same mistake, " you'll avoid the first mistake.

Unique needs no modifier. Very unique, quite unique, more unique, real unique, fairly unique, and extremely unique are wrong and they mark you as dumb, although certainly not unique.

Healthy does not mean "healthful." Healthy is a condition, healthful is a property. Vegetable aren't healthy, they're dead. No food is healthy. Unlesss you have an eggplant that's doing push-ups. Push-ups are healthful.

There is no such thing or word as kudo. Kudos is a singular noun meaning praise, and it is pronounced kyoo-dose. There is also a plural form, spelled the same, but pronounced kyoo-doze. Please stop telling me, "So-and-so picked up another kudo today."

Race, creed, or color is wrong. Race and color, as used in this phrase, describe the same property. And "creed" is a stilted, outmoded way of saying "religion." Leave this tired phrase alone; it has lost its usefulness. Besides, it reeks of insincerity no matter who uses it.

As of yet is simply stupid. As yet, I've seen no progress on this one, but of course I'm speaking as of now.

Here's one you can win money on in a bar if you're within reach of the right reference book: Chomping at the bit and old stomping ground are incorrect. Some Saturday afternoon when you're getting bombed on your old stamping ground, you'll be champing at the bit to use this one.

Sorry to sound so picky, folks, but I listen to a lot of radio and TV and these things have bothered me for a long time.

6

English & Linguistics / The random etymology of the day

« on: June 02, 2008, 09:33:55 AM »

Do you even HAVE a Facebook, Jake?  

On Facebook, you give your status in third person, kinda.

Mine currently says: Tracy wishes she were young enough to play ultimate frisbee!

Tracy wishes she were young enough to play ultimate frisbee! <-- Say in a Queen's English accent.
Tracy wishes she was young enough to play ultimate frisbee! <-- Say in a beer swilling, bass-boat-owning redneck accent.

7

English & Linguistics / Quotes from work

« on: April 29, 2008, 10:48:28 AM »

I'm pretty sure it's supposed to mean "insistent" or something.

8

English & Linguistics / Quotes from work

« on: April 29, 2008, 08:51:27 AM »

ppt is insiment that we initiated a transfer of funds without her premission per above event

Gah! Illiterate boobs.

9

English & Linguistics / "The thing/problem is"

« on: February 11, 2008, 03:08:45 PM »

It's a nominatizing subversital conjufraternizing case with an intervinative dipthongic wangadangdodal.

Seriously, how do you not know this?

10

English & Linguistics / The random etymology of the day

« on: October 31, 2007, 03:44:58 PM »

In Late Latin missus was used to mean "portion of food" or "course at dinner,"

Ah, I always knew my missus was good for dessert.    

11

English & Linguistics / pseudo-obscuring coarse language

« on: October 12, 2007, 01:58:00 PM »

I agree with it being exaggerated ghetto slang.  Though I'm more familiar with such pronunciation of (sheeyit) than (beeyitch).  I'm just doing webster's style transcription since I don't know my IPA fonts.

That sounds more like redneck ghetto slang.

12

English & Linguistics / pseudo-obscuring coarse language

« on: October 12, 2007, 12:17:14 PM »

Are you saying that "shiat" and "biatch" mean different things than "shit" and "bitch"?

I agree with Jonathon. "Shit" and "Bitch" by themselves don't really mean much anymore. When someone says "shit!" or "that's the shit, yo" they aren't referring to actual excrement. The same thing can be said about "bitch." I've heard people say "what's up, my bitches?" when referring to a group of men who don't take offense to the term. Using "shiat" and "biatch" are just a natural evolution of this same shift of usage.

13

English & Linguistics / pseudo-obscuring coarse language

« on: October 12, 2007, 12:02:06 PM »

"Shiat" and "Biatch" are ghetto slang.

14

English & Linguistics / pseudo-obscuring coarse language

« on: October 12, 2007, 11:56:47 AM »

More like an ironic use of ghetto slang.

15

English & Linguistics / Article on language change in Scientific American

« on: October 11, 2007, 11:46:43 AM »

Because biological evolution is the belief that increasingly complex organisms evolve from simpler organisms and language doesn't necessarily become more complex, but rather, stays relatively complex but merely changes the way the same concept is communicated?

Something like that?

16

English & Linguistics / Spaghetti Bowl

« on: September 26, 2007, 11:52:29 AM »

Our Highway Interchanges are named after local landmarks.

The "Zoo Interchange" is near the Milwaukee County Zoo. The "Marquette Interchange" is right by Marquette University. The "Mitchell Interchange" is right by the General Mitchel International Airport. The "Hale Interchange" is right by the suburb of Hales Corners.

I've heard terms like "Spaghetti Bowl," but we've never nicknamed our freeways that way, even though the term would definitely have applied to the old Marquette Interchange, which was a huge mess of about 20 years worth of differing highway design paradigms. We're in the middle of a 5 year project to rebuild the thing.

17

English & Linguistics / Punctuation and Quotation Marks

« on: May 30, 2007, 01:25:33 PM »

*misspells BYU... the acronym*

18

English & Linguistics / Punctuation and Quotation Marks

« on: May 30, 2007, 09:26:22 AM »

Piggy-back a tachyon pulse on the main deflector dish! Talk a lot about how it's not designed to do that!

19

English & Linguistics / Punctuation and Quotation Marks

« on: May 30, 2007, 08:59:35 AM »

You put punctuation before superscripted ordinal particles?!

*dies*

Better re-route the plasma conduits!

20

English & Linguistics / Live Ink

« on: May 14, 2007, 02:22:10 PM »

It kept breaking up the sentences in ways I would never have read them.

21

English & Linguistics / Language Myths

« on: April 09, 2007, 03:37:19 PM »

Trickle-Down Spellonomics!

22

English & Linguistics / Primal's Winning Grammar of the Day

« on: March 30, 2007, 01:15:59 PM »

As you know, I work for a retirement services company. I was promoted a couple of weeks ago from a call-center schmuck (albiet the most senior in the Call Center)up to what is called, in corporate-ese, a "Senior Research and Resolution Analyst." The most common real-world analogy would be Tier II Tech support.

My new job doesn't have me interacting directly with participants. We are a resource for the reps who don't have as much experience, knowledge, or even just brains to handle difficult calls on complex issues. I take calls from reps and try to help them learn how to figure these things out themselves.

The other role is handling tickets. In order to keep our reps from wasting the other department's time with stupid, redundant requests (tickets), we filter all outbound requests for corrections and research. If the rep opens up a ticket that is superfluous, we send it back to their manager as a training issue.

The tickets are the source of these. There are a lot of people in the call center who don't have a very good grasp of the english language at the best of times (no, we don't outsource to India) and, when "forced" to open up a ticket, they take no effort at clear communication. They're pretty much an endless source of unintentional hilarity (and stress headaches!).

23

English & Linguistics / Primal's Winning Grammar of the Day

« on: March 30, 2007, 11:20:29 AM »

I have his writted request at my desk.

24

English & Linguistics / Primal's Winning Grammar of the Day

« on: March 29, 2007, 06:30:12 AM »

Here's an exerpt from a ticket...

Ppt is stating her nevered received the funds or does not know where it went to.

Ppt is standard shorthand for participant.

I'll have more as the days wind on.

25

English & Linguistics / , and nine lemons.

« on: September 09, 2006, 02:55:42 PM »

SP: