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Forums => English & Linguistics => Topic started by: Jonathon on July 22, 2005, 02:25:03 PM

Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on July 22, 2005, 02:25:03 PM
"Product cost, solution flexibility and a need to better understand business needs as hi-impact influencers, all translate into a need to better define and have sales team be more able to communicate the Microsoft “economic value proposition.” Prior to more sales education should come new selling resource tools, alignment of correct selling resources and a change in selling approach and strategy. Value must be made an effective competitive advantage."

If you can find something more difficult to read and confusing, post it here. Let's see how unintelligible we can get.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: rivka on July 22, 2005, 02:37:53 PM
Are excerpts from a high school student handbook fair game? Because I had a doozy yesterday . . .
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on July 22, 2005, 02:39:43 PM
Sure, why not? I think any professional, published stuff should be fair game.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: rivka on July 22, 2005, 02:44:46 PM
Published? Well, when it's all done, I'll be making 100+ copies and sticking them all in binder-folders . . .

Let me see if I can find the offending paragraph.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: rivka on July 22, 2005, 02:46:58 PM
Ok, not so much confusing as a ridiculously run-on monster:
Quote
The purpose of discipline is to promote general pupil development, to increase respect for authority, to assist the growth of spiritual motives for self-discipline, to provide a classroom situation conducive to learning, to encourage individual growth, and to produce productive members of society.
And I'm really fond of the repetitive final phrase. :rolleyes:  
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on July 22, 2005, 02:48:23 PM
Are handbooks not published?

I just meant that if we open it up to include any writing, then it'll become too easy.  
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on July 22, 2005, 02:49:37 PM
That wouldn't be that bad if it were done in a vertical list.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: rivka on July 22, 2005, 02:49:52 PM
Quote
Are handbooks not published?

I just meant that if we open it up to include any writing, then it'll become too easy.
Probably depends on the size of the school. With about 100 students, it's far cheaper for us to xerox, punch, and stick 'em in folders.

Which is a step up from "binding" them with staples, as we've done in previous years.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: rivka on July 22, 2005, 02:53:20 PM
Quote
That wouldn't be that bad if it were done in a vertical list.
NO! This document is already CRAMMED with vertical lists! And they're not even consistent -- some are numbered, and some get little ?s.

All I was asked to do was type it. I corrected the truly egregious stuff, and my boss will likely edit it to a somewhat better state. But I'd love it if they just set me loose on it. :D Not gonna happen, though.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Doorknob on July 25, 2005, 08:00:50 AM
A sample from my actual work review. (I got screwed on it)
Quote
Planning:
Priortizes and plans work activities   2- Needs Improvement
Uses time efficently   2-Needs Improvment
Plans for Additional Resources  2- Needs Improvement
Integrates changes smoothly  2-Needs Improvement
Sets goals and objectives  2- Needs Improvement
Works in an organized manner  2-Needs  Improvement


Ok.. now the verbage... I figured I didn't have to grammar correct a crappy review.


Quote
Anna generally plans and prioritizes well.  She usually integrates changes smoothly into existing plans.  However she could make more efficent use of her time through better planning and organization.  Anna sometimes does not plan well enough for additional resources.  Further, she does not always set effective goals and objectives for herself.  There would be fewer inefficencies if her work was better organized.  Anna needs to establish priorities based on the fluctuating requirements of the department.  Anna integrates changes smoothly into existing plans.  However she would be more effective if she prioritized and planned her work better.  Anna could make more efficent use of her time through better planning and .  Also she sometimes dones not plan well enough for additional resources.  Addtionally, she does not always set effective goals and objectives for herself.  There would be fewer inefficiencs if her work was better organized.  It should be noted that Anna's overal performance has been comprimised in comparison to her review scores last review period.  Anna has recieved formal counselling to direct attention to those job responsibilities that require improvement.  She recognizes this as a positive means of corrective action and has been progressing at an acceptable level.


Have fun...

AJ
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on July 25, 2005, 08:22:58 AM
Wait—so that's what your boss wrote? And he's criticizing you for inefficiency and poor planning?
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Doorknob on July 25, 2005, 08:26:54 AM
precisely
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Lady Montagu on July 25, 2005, 08:32:26 AM
Banna, that so sucks. :( I'm sorry he's in a position to give you any evaluation at all.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on July 25, 2005, 08:40:40 AM
Well, hopefully, whoever reads that review will recognize the beautiful irony of it.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Doorknob on July 25, 2005, 09:26:10 AM
yeah.... It's weird that the crappy grammar is pissing me off as much as anything.  Basically if he was going to ding me, he should do a good job of it.   But if that is supposed to be "constructive criticism" the world is doomed.

AJ
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on August 19, 2005, 10:33:51 AM
The stuff I've been reading lately is internal corporation stuff, which I'm guessing means they didn't see the point of having it edited. So I'm getting lovely sentences like this one:

Quote
The paying bank to determine which of their accounts the funds need to be drawn from uses this information.

If I dropped a hint that I could proofread and clean up this document so it's readable in just a few days, do you think the company would bite?
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on August 19, 2005, 10:35:25 AM
Maybe. What's the worst that could happen?
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: pooka on August 19, 2005, 11:34:30 AM
"do you think the company would bite?"

Yes.  The company bites.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Icarus on August 19, 2005, 04:10:59 PM
:(   (((AJ)))

Have you gotten a new job yet?
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: scottneb on August 25, 2005, 07:28:28 PM
Quote
What is the tendency know as for a poor risk to seek out insurance coverage more than an average risks?

It may be that I've been studying for eight hours straight, but this seems odd.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on August 29, 2005, 03:55:32 PM
I came across this gem while looking for a definition of drill down:
Quote
Drill-down menus make interaction more difficult, destroy the user's overview, and poor wording make users give up using the site.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on September 01, 2005, 08:04:08 AM
Quote
Due to a variety of factors, to include not all USB ports on some computers being USB 2.0 (particularly front ports), motherboard chipset drivers and Windows USB host controller drivers needing updating, USB devices conflicting with each other, and the way some manufacturers of USB devices don’t assign USB serial numbers to their devices (or will assign the same number to all devices of the same type/model instead of assigning a unique number to each individual device), Windows may have trouble properly detecting and/or properly installing the drivers for the LS100/3 scanners.

To be fair, this is from an email. Can anyone figure out what it's saying?
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 01, 2005, 08:08:12 AM
Quote
Quote
Due to a variety of factors, to include not all USB ports on some computers being USB 2.0 (particularly front ports), motherboard chipset drivers and Windows USB host controller drivers needing updating, USB devices conflicting with each other, and the way some manufacturers of USB devices don’t assign USB serial numbers to their devices (or will assign the same number to all devices of the same type/model instead of assigning a unique number to each individual device), Windows may have trouble properly detecting and/or properly installing the drivers for the LS100/3 scanners.

To be fair, this is from an email. Can anyone figure out what it's saying?
For a variety of reasons, Windows may have trouble properly detecting or installing the drivers for the LS100/3 scanners. These reasons may include the following: not all USB ports on some computers are USB 2.0 (particularly front ports); motherboard chipset drivers and Windows USB host controller drivers may need updating; USB devices may conflict with each other; and some manufacturers of USB devices don’t assign USB serial numbers to their devices (or will assign the same number to all devices of the same type/model instead of assigning a unique number to each individual device).

Does that make more sense?
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on September 01, 2005, 08:13:27 AM
Yeah, I kind of did that in my head. Not exactly that edit, but close. It might even benefit from being made into a bulleted list. But holy cow.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 07, 2005, 03:05:31 PM
This interview is making my brain hurt:
Quote
They seem to be…I mean, for certain business models it may work. So they have to decide what they want. I mean, they are a very structured organization, very process oriented, and for certain types of…you know, if, as a client, that is what you want…We are not one of those clients.
I guarantee that it makes just as much sense to all of you as it does to me.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on September 07, 2005, 03:28:53 PM
Somebody doesn't want to just come out and say the product sucks.

Either that or they couldn't afford the product because they're going under, but he doesn't want to admit it.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 07, 2005, 03:32:44 PM
Everything from this respondent is like that. It's like the words start coming out before she's actually figured out what she's saying. There are filler words aplenty, too, so it makes me think she just has a hard time getting her thought together and getting them out coherently.

This is someone from Barnes & Noble Inc., so I doubt they're going under. ;)  
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: pattyshmack on September 07, 2005, 05:36:49 PM
That surprises me that a business professional would talk like that.  Didn't they learn specificity and brevity as a college freshman?
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Icarus on September 07, 2005, 08:10:29 PM
It makes sense to me . . . it's someone changing directions in midstride. This is a transcript of something spoken?

If you don't get it you haven't read enough Pratchett! ;)
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Porter on September 07, 2005, 09:50:08 PM
Quote
Didn't they learn specificity and brevity as a college freshman?
How many college sophomores do you know that write with specificity and brevity?
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on September 08, 2005, 08:16:06 AM
Furthermore, how many business professionals do you know who speak with specificity and brevity?
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 08, 2005, 08:37:08 AM
Quote
It makes sense to me . . . it's someone changing directions in midstride. This is a transcript of something spoken?
Yup. Changing directions midstride isn't too bad. But changing directions every stride? That becomes a little harder to follow.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 08, 2005, 09:42:41 AM
Some more gems from that interview that made me laugh:
Quote
And I guess, somehow, if they were able to prove that they have done exactly what we do and that they do, and that they are…you know, provide innovative solutions in a stable environment without…you know, it’s hard for me to say.
No kidding.
Quote
If I have to explain it five times until they get it, then that is a problem, and that is what we kind of experienced. We were looking for a partner that would get it the first time, you know, that could answer, that could finish our sentences, basically.
Yeah, it'd be nice if someone finished your sentences.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Icarus on September 08, 2005, 01:05:18 PM
Ah, so it's a transcript of somebody BS-ing!  :D
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 08, 2005, 01:12:42 PM
Pretty much. She was so vague and repeated herself so much that I really wondered if she had any idea what she was talking about.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 19, 2005, 11:11:09 AM
My current pet peeve (well, one of them, anyway), is the overuse and misuse of the prefix non-. I just read something that talked about the "noncomplexity" of a piece of software. I often see people referring to "nonbiased" opinions. And in a similar vein, two or three times I've read about someone "deinstalling" a piece of software.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on September 19, 2005, 11:26:23 AM
To be fair, there are so many negating prefixes in English that it can get really confusing. How many are there?

non-, un-, in-, a-, de-

I'm sure there are others.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Porter on September 19, 2005, 11:28:18 AM
Are there really any rules about when to use which ones, besides the difference in meanings?

Really -- why is uninstall correct but deinstall is wrong?

Edit:  to add the word really once more time.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 19, 2005, 11:39:36 AM
Quote
Are there really any rules about when to use which ones, besides the difference in meanings?
Yes and no. Different prefixes have different origins. Un- comes from Old English, while in- comes from Latin. However, un- is used with plenty of Latinate words, like install. There is a pretty wide range of meaning, though, even though you can classify all those prefixes as negatives.

Quote
Really -- why is uninstall correct but deinstall is wrong?
The simple answer is that uninstall is the form that's accepted as correct. One is in the dictionary, and the other is not. But regardless of why it's incorrect, the fact is that it is incorrect.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Porter on September 19, 2005, 11:42:09 AM
It is very common for me to use the prefix non in non-accepted ways.

(It wasn't until I was finished with that sentence that I realized that it was an example. >.<)
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 19, 2005, 11:43:09 AM
Quote
To be fair, there are so many negating prefixes in English that it can get really confusing. How many are there?

non-, un-, in-, a-, de-

I'm sure there are others.
Don't forget contra-/counter-, anti-, dis-, ex- and probably a whole bunch of others. Just because they're all negating prefixes doesn't mean they're used the same way or mean the same thing, though.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 19, 2005, 11:43:58 AM
Quote
It is very common for me to use the prefix non in non-accepted ways.

(It wasn't until I was finished with that sentence that I realized that it was an example. >.<)
Then you're part of the problem. :pirate:

Here you go, Porter. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/youmeus/learnit/learnitv45.shtml)
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on September 19, 2005, 11:59:49 AM
Ah, yes. I also forgot ir- and im-.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Porter on September 19, 2005, 12:00:15 PM
I got a 100%. :P
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Porter on September 19, 2005, 12:00:43 PM
Are all of these prefixes double-plus ungood?
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on September 19, 2005, 12:02:58 PM
I thought it was areligious. I'm totally ashamed now.

*hides head*
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 19, 2005, 12:03:56 PM
Quote
Ah, yes. I also forgot ir- and im-.
Those are just phonetically conditioned allomorps of in-.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Porter on September 19, 2005, 12:06:53 PM
Woah!  So did I, Ruth.  I guess I didn't get a 100%.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on September 19, 2005, 12:08:26 PM
Your mom is a phonetically conditioned allomorph of in-!
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Porter on September 19, 2005, 12:10:18 PM
Quote
An allomorph is one of two or more complementary morphs which manifest a morpheme in its different phonological or morphological environments.

>.<

I think I'm venting plasma now.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on September 19, 2005, 12:14:15 PM
I'm trying to come up with a definition of morph, morpheme, and allomorph for you, but everything I think of is just more confusing.

Basically, Jonathon is saying they're all forms of the same prefix that have changed to become more easily pronouncable. Like, "in-mature" would be much more difficult to say than "immature," and "in-resposible" would be harder to say than "irresponsible." (You don't know how hard it was for me not to use irregardless as my ir- example.)
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 19, 2005, 12:15:44 PM
Here, I'll dumb it down for you.

The basic Latin form was in-. However, when it was prefixed to words starting with certain sounds, those sounds assimilated, creating a new form of the prefix.

in + literate = illiterate

in + perfect = imperfect

in + regardless = irregardless


See?

Edit: Jinx!
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on September 19, 2005, 12:16:46 PM
Oh my word. Jonathon and I posted the same thing almost at the same time and both had the irregardless urge. Though I was the only one to withstand it.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Porter on September 19, 2005, 12:21:05 PM
I like Ruth's explination better.

'Cuz she didn't imply that I'm dumb. :pirate:
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on September 19, 2005, 12:22:05 PM
You're dumb. There. I made it explicit, not implicit. :P  
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 19, 2005, 12:25:31 PM
Porter: It's only that I'm jealous that you always win at Katan. :cry:

Also, I can give you definitions for morph, morpheme, and allomorph if you want, but otherwise I won't bore you.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: beverly on September 19, 2005, 01:54:55 PM
Cool!  I was aware that Tagalog did that sort of thing a lot, but I haven't seen examples of it in english.

Intensely cool.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: rivka on September 19, 2005, 11:08:28 PM
Quote
Oh my word. Jonathon and I posted the same thing almost at the same time and both had the irregardless urge. Though I was the only one to withstand it.
Yes. Thus you may live.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on September 20, 2005, 08:15:02 AM
Jonathon doesn't?  :cry: Man, I never expected to become a widow so soon.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Porter on September 20, 2005, 08:16:09 AM
How untimely.

:cry:
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 20, 2005, 09:33:01 AM
:cry:

So long, my dear. Name the baby after me, even if it's a girl—give it a cool Utah name like Jonathanne or something.

*dies*
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Porter on September 20, 2005, 09:43:50 AM
*mice play*
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on September 20, 2005, 09:45:18 AM
This is the saddest thread I've ever read. *cries herself to sleep every day for the next sixty years*
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Porter on September 20, 2005, 09:48:09 AM
My great-grandma was a widow for over two-thirds of her life.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 20, 2005, 10:14:48 AM
Oh, like that makes it okay?
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Primal Curve on September 20, 2005, 04:44:34 PM
Be happy you folks don't work for a heavily-regulated industry. There's no way in h-e-double hockey sticks I'd post any memos or emails or anything else work-related outside of work. I'd get crucified upside-down.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Icarus on September 20, 2005, 06:10:11 PM
Me too . . . if I got caught. ;)
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Jonathon on September 20, 2005, 06:15:14 PM
Quote
Be happy you folks don't work for a heavily-regulated industry. There's no way in h-e-double hockey sticks I'd post any memos or emails or anything else work-related outside of work. I'd get crucified upside-down.
These quotes are taken from customers of our clients, not employees of my company, so there would probably be very little fallout if someone caught me.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: rivka on September 20, 2005, 09:48:22 PM
Quote
Jonathon doesn't?  :cry: Man, I never expected to become a widow so soon.
Did anyone force him to use that farce of a pseudo-word? I don't think so. :P

*merciless*
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: Brinestone on October 04, 2005, 12:34:45 PM
The person who wrote the document I'm reading right now must have a deep-seated fear of commas. I just encountered a 40-word sentence with no punctuation other than the period at the end. The most obvious place the author avoids commas is after introductory phrases and clauses, causing much confusion for me.
Title: The joys of corporate writing
Post by: pooka on April 06, 2006, 09:12:32 AM
Quote
Access National  recommends when you send time-sensitive or action-oriented messages to us via electronic mail, that you request confirmation or undertake a telephonic inquiry to confirm receipt.
:lol: