GalacticCactus Forum
Forums => English & Linguistics => Topic started by: Jonathon on July 22, 2005, 02:25:03 PM
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"Product cost, solution flexibility and a need to better understand business needs as hi-impact influencers, all translate into a need to better define and have sales team be more able to communicate the Microsoft “economic value proposition.” Prior to more sales education should come new selling resource tools, alignment of correct selling resources and a change in selling approach and strategy. Value must be made an effective competitive advantage."
If you can find something more difficult to read and confusing, post it here. Let's see how unintelligible we can get.
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Are excerpts from a high school student handbook fair game? Because I had a doozy yesterday . . .
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Sure, why not? I think any professional, published stuff should be fair game.
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Published? Well, when it's all done, I'll be making 100+ copies and sticking them all in binder-folders . . .
Let me see if I can find the offending paragraph.
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Ok, not so much confusing as a ridiculously run-on monster:
The purpose of discipline is to promote general pupil development, to increase respect for authority, to assist the growth of spiritual motives for self-discipline, to provide a classroom situation conducive to learning, to encourage individual growth, and to produce productive members of society.
And I'm really fond of the repetitive final phrase. :rolleyes:
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Are handbooks not published?
I just meant that if we open it up to include any writing, then it'll become too easy.
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That wouldn't be that bad if it were done in a vertical list.
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Are handbooks not published?
I just meant that if we open it up to include any writing, then it'll become too easy.
Probably depends on the size of the school. With about 100 students, it's far cheaper for us to xerox, punch, and stick 'em in folders.
Which is a step up from "binding" them with staples, as we've done in previous years.
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That wouldn't be that bad if it were done in a vertical list.
NO! This document is already CRAMMED with vertical lists! And they're not even consistent -- some are numbered, and some get little ?s.
All I was asked to do was type it. I corrected the truly egregious stuff, and my boss will likely edit it to a somewhat better state. But I'd love it if they just set me loose on it. :D Not gonna happen, though.
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A sample from my actual work review. (I got screwed on it)
Planning:
Priortizes and plans work activities 2- Needs Improvement
Uses time efficently 2-Needs Improvment
Plans for Additional Resources 2- Needs Improvement
Integrates changes smoothly 2-Needs Improvement
Sets goals and objectives 2- Needs Improvement
Works in an organized manner 2-Needs Improvement
Ok.. now the verbage... I figured I didn't have to grammar correct a crappy review.
Anna generally plans and prioritizes well. She usually integrates changes smoothly into existing plans. However she could make more efficent use of her time through better planning and organization. Anna sometimes does not plan well enough for additional resources. Further, she does not always set effective goals and objectives for herself. There would be fewer inefficencies if her work was better organized. Anna needs to establish priorities based on the fluctuating requirements of the department. Anna integrates changes smoothly into existing plans. However she would be more effective if she prioritized and planned her work better. Anna could make more efficent use of her time through better planning and . Also she sometimes dones not plan well enough for additional resources. Addtionally, she does not always set effective goals and objectives for herself. There would be fewer inefficiencs if her work was better organized. It should be noted that Anna's overal performance has been comprimised in comparison to her review scores last review period. Anna has recieved formal counselling to direct attention to those job responsibilities that require improvement. She recognizes this as a positive means of corrective action and has been progressing at an acceptable level.
Have fun...
AJ
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Wait—so that's what your boss wrote? And he's criticizing you for inefficiency and poor planning?
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precisely
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Banna, that so sucks. :( I'm sorry he's in a position to give you any evaluation at all.
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Well, hopefully, whoever reads that review will recognize the beautiful irony of it.
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yeah.... It's weird that the crappy grammar is pissing me off as much as anything. Basically if he was going to ding me, he should do a good job of it. But if that is supposed to be "constructive criticism" the world is doomed.
AJ
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The stuff I've been reading lately is internal corporation stuff, which I'm guessing means they didn't see the point of having it edited. So I'm getting lovely sentences like this one:
The paying bank to determine which of their accounts the funds need to be drawn from uses this information.
If I dropped a hint that I could proofread and clean up this document so it's readable in just a few days, do you think the company would bite?
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Maybe. What's the worst that could happen?
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"do you think the company would bite?"
Yes. The company bites.
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:( (((AJ)))
Have you gotten a new job yet?
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What is the tendency know as for a poor risk to seek out insurance coverage more than an average risks?
It may be that I've been studying for eight hours straight, but this seems odd.
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I came across this gem while looking for a definition of drill down:
Drill-down menus make interaction more difficult, destroy the user's overview, and poor wording make users give up using the site.
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Due to a variety of factors, to include not all USB ports on some computers being USB 2.0 (particularly front ports), motherboard chipset drivers and Windows USB host controller drivers needing updating, USB devices conflicting with each other, and the way some manufacturers of USB devices don’t assign USB serial numbers to their devices (or will assign the same number to all devices of the same type/model instead of assigning a unique number to each individual device), Windows may have trouble properly detecting and/or properly installing the drivers for the LS100/3 scanners.
To be fair, this is from an email. Can anyone figure out what it's saying?
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Due to a variety of factors, to include not all USB ports on some computers being USB 2.0 (particularly front ports), motherboard chipset drivers and Windows USB host controller drivers needing updating, USB devices conflicting with each other, and the way some manufacturers of USB devices don’t assign USB serial numbers to their devices (or will assign the same number to all devices of the same type/model instead of assigning a unique number to each individual device), Windows may have trouble properly detecting and/or properly installing the drivers for the LS100/3 scanners.
To be fair, this is from an email. Can anyone figure out what it's saying?
For a variety of reasons, Windows may have trouble properly detecting or installing the drivers for the LS100/3 scanners. These reasons may include the following: not all USB ports on some computers are USB 2.0 (particularly front ports); motherboard chipset drivers and Windows USB host controller drivers may need updating; USB devices may conflict with each other; and some manufacturers of USB devices don’t assign USB serial numbers to their devices (or will assign the same number to all devices of the same type/model instead of assigning a unique number to each individual device).
Does that make more sense?
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Yeah, I kind of did that in my head. Not exactly that edit, but close. It might even benefit from being made into a bulleted list. But holy cow.
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This interview is making my brain hurt:
They seem to be…I mean, for certain business models it may work. So they have to decide what they want. I mean, they are a very structured organization, very process oriented, and for certain types of…you know, if, as a client, that is what you want…We are not one of those clients.
I guarantee that it makes just as much sense to all of you as it does to me.
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Somebody doesn't want to just come out and say the product sucks.
Either that or they couldn't afford the product because they're going under, but he doesn't want to admit it.
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Everything from this respondent is like that. It's like the words start coming out before she's actually figured out what she's saying. There are filler words aplenty, too, so it makes me think she just has a hard time getting her thought together and getting them out coherently.
This is someone from Barnes & Noble Inc., so I doubt they're going under. ;)
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That surprises me that a business professional would talk like that. Didn't they learn specificity and brevity as a college freshman?
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It makes sense to me . . . it's someone changing directions in midstride. This is a transcript of something spoken?
If you don't get it you haven't read enough Pratchett! ;)
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Didn't they learn specificity and brevity as a college freshman?
How many college sophomores do you know that write with specificity and brevity?
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Furthermore, how many business professionals do you know who speak with specificity and brevity?
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It makes sense to me . . . it's someone changing directions in midstride. This is a transcript of something spoken?
Yup. Changing directions midstride isn't too bad. But changing directions every stride? That becomes a little harder to follow.
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Some more gems from that interview that made me laugh:
And I guess, somehow, if they were able to prove that they have done exactly what we do and that they do, and that they are…you know, provide innovative solutions in a stable environment without…you know, it’s hard for me to say.
No kidding.
If I have to explain it five times until they get it, then that is a problem, and that is what we kind of experienced. We were looking for a partner that would get it the first time, you know, that could answer, that could finish our sentences, basically.
Yeah, it'd be nice if someone finished your sentences.
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Ah, so it's a transcript of somebody BS-ing! :D
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Pretty much. She was so vague and repeated herself so much that I really wondered if she had any idea what she was talking about.
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My current pet peeve (well, one of them, anyway), is the overuse and misuse of the prefix non-. I just read something that talked about the "noncomplexity" of a piece of software. I often see people referring to "nonbiased" opinions. And in a similar vein, two or three times I've read about someone "deinstalling" a piece of software.
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To be fair, there are so many negating prefixes in English that it can get really confusing. How many are there?
non-, un-, in-, a-, de-
I'm sure there are others.
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Are there really any rules about when to use which ones, besides the difference in meanings?
Really -- why is uninstall correct but deinstall is wrong?
Edit: to add the word really once more time.
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Are there really any rules about when to use which ones, besides the difference in meanings?
Yes and no. Different prefixes have different origins. Un- comes from Old English, while in- comes from Latin. However, un- is used with plenty of Latinate words, like install. There is a pretty wide range of meaning, though, even though you can classify all those prefixes as negatives.
Really -- why is uninstall correct but deinstall is wrong?
The simple answer is that uninstall is the form that's accepted as correct. One is in the dictionary, and the other is not. But regardless of why it's incorrect, the fact is that it is incorrect.
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It is very common for me to use the prefix non in non-accepted ways.
(It wasn't until I was finished with that sentence that I realized that it was an example. >.<)
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To be fair, there are so many negating prefixes in English that it can get really confusing. How many are there?
non-, un-, in-, a-, de-
I'm sure there are others.
Don't forget contra-/counter-, anti-, dis-, ex- and probably a whole bunch of others. Just because they're all negating prefixes doesn't mean they're used the same way or mean the same thing, though.
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It is very common for me to use the prefix non in non-accepted ways.
(It wasn't until I was finished with that sentence that I realized that it was an example. >.<)
Then you're part of the problem. :pirate:
Here you go, Porter. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/youmeus/learnit/learnitv45.shtml)
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Ah, yes. I also forgot ir- and im-.
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I got a 100%. :P
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Are all of these prefixes double-plus ungood?
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I thought it was areligious. I'm totally ashamed now.
*hides head*
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Ah, yes. I also forgot ir- and im-.
Those are just phonetically conditioned allomorps of in-.
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Woah! So did I, Ruth. I guess I didn't get a 100%.
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Your mom is a phonetically conditioned allomorph of in-!
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An allomorph is one of two or more complementary morphs which manifest a morpheme in its different phonological or morphological environments.
>.<
I think I'm venting plasma now.
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I'm trying to come up with a definition of morph, morpheme, and allomorph for you, but everything I think of is just more confusing.
Basically, Jonathon is saying they're all forms of the same prefix that have changed to become more easily pronouncable. Like, "in-mature" would be much more difficult to say than "immature," and "in-resposible" would be harder to say than "irresponsible." (You don't know how hard it was for me not to use irregardless as my ir- example.)
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Here, I'll dumb it down for you.
The basic Latin form was in-. However, when it was prefixed to words starting with certain sounds, those sounds assimilated, creating a new form of the prefix.
in + literate = illiterate
in + perfect = imperfect
in + regardless = irregardless
See?
Edit: Jinx!
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Oh my word. Jonathon and I posted the same thing almost at the same time and both had the irregardless urge. Though I was the only one to withstand it.
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I like Ruth's explination better.
'Cuz she didn't imply that I'm dumb. :pirate:
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You're dumb. There. I made it explicit, not implicit. :P
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Porter: It's only that I'm jealous that you always win at Katan. :cry:
Also, I can give you definitions for morph, morpheme, and allomorph if you want, but otherwise I won't bore you.
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Cool! I was aware that Tagalog did that sort of thing a lot, but I haven't seen examples of it in english.
Intensely cool.
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Oh my word. Jonathon and I posted the same thing almost at the same time and both had the irregardless urge. Though I was the only one to withstand it.
Yes. Thus you may live.
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Jonathon doesn't? :cry: Man, I never expected to become a widow so soon.
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How untimely.
:cry:
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:cry:
So long, my dear. Name the baby after me, even if it's a girl—give it a cool Utah name like Jonathanne or something.
*dies*
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*mice play*
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This is the saddest thread I've ever read. *cries herself to sleep every day for the next sixty years*
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My great-grandma was a widow for over two-thirds of her life.
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Oh, like that makes it okay?
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Be happy you folks don't work for a heavily-regulated industry. There's no way in h-e-double hockey sticks I'd post any memos or emails or anything else work-related outside of work. I'd get crucified upside-down.
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Me too . . . if I got caught. ;)
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Be happy you folks don't work for a heavily-regulated industry. There's no way in h-e-double hockey sticks I'd post any memos or emails or anything else work-related outside of work. I'd get crucified upside-down.
These quotes are taken from customers of our clients, not employees of my company, so there would probably be very little fallout if someone caught me.
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Jonathon doesn't? :cry: Man, I never expected to become a widow so soon.
Did anyone force him to use that farce of a pseudo-word? I don't think so. :P
*merciless*
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The person who wrote the document I'm reading right now must have a deep-seated fear of commas. I just encountered a 40-word sentence with no punctuation other than the period at the end. The most obvious place the author avoids commas is after introductory phrases and clauses, causing much confusion for me.
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Access National recommends when you send time-sensitive or action-oriented messages to us via electronic mail, that you request confirmation or undertake a telephonic inquiry to confirm receipt.
:lol: