GalacticCactus Forum

Forums => English & Linguistics => Topic started by: Annie Subjunctive on March 23, 2007, 02:14:19 PM

Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Annie Subjunctive on March 23, 2007, 02:14:19 PM
It's in the forum software and it bugs me. When you send a PM, it says "Thank you for sending a message to Friend's Name. They will be notified when they receive it."

I know that we use they because we don't want to be bigots and use he, but they is plural. I only have one friend!
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Jonathon on March 23, 2007, 02:17:58 PM
You was also originally plural, but we have no problem using it as a singular.

Also, shouldn't this go on the other side?
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 23, 2007, 02:18:28 PM
Neither does them.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Jonathon on March 23, 2007, 02:26:44 PM
Neither does them what?
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 23, 2007, 02:37:43 PM
Mind using "you" as a singular pronoun.

Them doesn't.

I'm practicing using "them" as a singular pronoun.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Brinestone on March 23, 2007, 02:39:23 PM
But they is the nominative form, which means you should say, "they doesn't."
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Jonathon on March 23, 2007, 02:39:25 PM
As the subject form, no less.

Edit: Beaten to the punch!
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Annie Subjunctive on March 23, 2007, 02:45:26 PM
I'd've put it on the other side, but no one would go there and read it.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Jonathon on March 23, 2007, 02:48:32 PM
I would've. :cry:  
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 23, 2007, 02:51:13 PM
Look at that side as much as I look at this side.

But that's just because I have turned it into gigantic virtual forum by only looking at the "Search for active topics" page.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Tante Shvester on March 23, 2007, 03:18:55 PM
I'm always looking at the other side.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: rivka on March 23, 2007, 04:26:14 PM
Quote
You was also originally plural, but we have no problem using it as a singular.
While you were away, Annie, he even convinced me .

Also, I check the other side first.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Megan on March 23, 2007, 04:27:13 PM
Break on through to the other side.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Annie Subjunctive on March 23, 2007, 08:16:55 PM
OK, I check the other side too.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Jonathon on March 23, 2007, 08:37:44 PM
Quote
While you were away, Annie, he even convinced me .
And I'm so darn proud.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Icarus on March 23, 2007, 09:40:18 PM
You'll never win me over to your "anything goes" brand of lawlessness!
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Jonathon on March 23, 2007, 09:44:57 PM
But words gots to be FREE, yo.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Mr. Anderson on March 23, 2007, 10:00:54 PM
Quote
It's in the forum software and it bugs me. When you send a PM, it says "Thank you for sending a message to Friend's Name. They will be notified when they receive it."

I know that we use they because we don't want to be bigots and use he, but they is plural. I only have one friend!
What's the alternative to using "they" while still gender-neutral?
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Jonathon on March 23, 2007, 10:10:01 PM
"He or she," which I'd argue doesn't even make sense in that context.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Mr. Anderson on March 23, 2007, 10:50:15 PM
But those aren't gender-neutral.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Jonathon on March 23, 2007, 11:02:45 PM
"Gender-neutral" in reality sometimes means "not specific to one gender."
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Mr. Anderson on March 23, 2007, 11:50:57 PM
Oops.  I didn't realize that you had quotation marks around the phrase and not the individual words.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Annie Subjunctive on March 24, 2007, 07:07:31 AM
I'm perfectly fine using just "he."  
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 24, 2007, 07:24:40 AM
The only thing keeping "he" from being gender-neutral in such contexts is that people refuse to let it be gender neutral.

It certainly is gender-neutral in other languages.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Megan on March 24, 2007, 07:27:00 AM
I prefer the French "on." That one actually is gender neutral, as there's a "she" (elle) and a "he" (il).  
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: imogen on March 24, 2007, 07:59:51 AM
Quote
It's in the forum software and it bugs me. When you send a PM, it says "Thank you for sending a message to Friend's Name. They will be notified when they receive it."

I know that we use they because we don't want to be bigots and use he, but they is plural. I only have one friend!
What, we have PM on this forum?






I've never got one.   :cry:  
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 24, 2007, 08:04:20 AM
Did you ever send one?
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Jonathon on March 24, 2007, 09:33:24 AM
Quote
The only thing keeping "he" from being gender-neutral in such contexts is that people refuse to let it be gender neutral.
I disagree. So does Ken Jennings (http://ken-jennings.com/blog/?p=372), so I must be right.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Annie Subjunctive on March 24, 2007, 10:13:12 AM
On also means I and we ad they. It's like the all purpose pronoun.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 24, 2007, 10:14:13 AM
Quote
I’m not the militant gender-bias-avoider that Grumpy Man probably thinks I am, but I’m aware of the problem. I think it was a Douglas Hofstadter essay that first pointed me toward the disturbing findings of a 1972 experiment at Duke, in which groups of students were given two versions of a textbook, one with gender-neutral phrasings and one without. The students of both genders who read the gender-biased version were markedly more likely to picture the subjects of the text as male. In other words, the generic masculine is not generic. It makes readers think the generic sentence object has a penis, to the tune of about a 30-40% margin.
Huh.  I had never heard of that.  That's pretty convincing.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: beverly on March 24, 2007, 10:24:37 AM
I can vouch for this going on in my brain.  "He" will never feel gender neutral to me.  Whenever something tries to be gender neutral, my brain automatically generates "male."  Female must be specified.  I imagine this is largely a product of the influences I was raised with, society and culture and alll that.  Basically, I am incapable at my core of being unbiased about gender.  I try to overcome that bias with my conscious mind, but the tendancy will probably always be there.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 24, 2007, 10:26:17 AM
I wonder if the same thing (referring to the study) is true for native speakers of languages like Spanish, where generic masculine is explicitly part of the language.

I know that "he" is far more gender-neutral to me since I spent a couple of years speaking Portuguese.

But then, not everybody in the study reacted to "he" that way.  Maybe I'm in the other group.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: beverly on March 24, 2007, 10:38:13 AM
Filipino languages are truly gender-neutral.  I loved it!  It was very liberating.  They do not have separate words for "brother" and "sister," "husband" and "wife," "daughter" and "son."  We sound awkward when we say "sibling," though less so when we say "spouse."  But in Tagalog you actually have to specify "female sibling."  There is no "gender baggage" in the language and I actually think it does have an effect on the mindset of the people who speak the language.  

I noticed also that there was a very high percentage of what one might call "gender confusion" there.  While there were less expectations of what "male" and "female" ought to be, there also seemed to be a much higher percentage of people who favored being more like the opposite sex than what we typically think of as being their own.  Seemed to be a higher percentage of bi-sexual and homosexual attraction as well.  (I often joke that while there, I had more women fall in love with me than men.)

I am a believer that our language structure does influence the way we think and view the world.  I think that the way the Spanish language is set up probably adds ot the tendancy of "machismo" that we find in those cultures.  Not just pronouns have gender, everything has gender (not unique to Spanish) and if one male is present, it is sufficient to change the nature of a group.  Add a female to a group, nothing happens.  (Dunno if that is unique to Spanish.)   Feel free to correct me on this.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 24, 2007, 10:44:02 AM
Portuguese works the same, and I'm pretty sure that French does as well.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Annie Subjunctive on March 24, 2007, 10:46:00 AM
Piaget thought so too. I don't know if I agree.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Jonathon on March 24, 2007, 12:44:21 PM
Quote
Huh.  I had never heard of that.  That's pretty convincing.
Yeah, it is. And in my experience, it's only men who say, "But he IS a gender-neutral pronoun if you just think of it that way!" I don't think I've ever heard a woman say that.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Jonathon on March 24, 2007, 12:48:35 PM
Beverly, my gut feeling is that it's more a result of the culture than the language. Americans seem to think that British men in general are sissies, but there aren't any grammaticalized gender differences between British and American English. It also seems to me that European are less homophobic and more fashion-savvy than American men. I'm mostly going off of stereotypes there, but it seems to hold true from the few European men I've known.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Icarus on March 24, 2007, 01:13:00 PM
Yeah, that's based off the stereotype of the aristocratic Englishman. The English immigrants we get here are more the working-class type (think soccer hooligans), and it would not occur to them to think of them as sissies. On the contrary, they tend to accuse Americans of being sissies. For one thing, they think we don't beat our children nearly enough.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: rav on March 24, 2007, 01:28:42 PM
"Thank you for sending a message to Friend's Name. The recipient(s) will be notified."

Is my solution.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 24, 2007, 01:58:25 PM
My solution involves suing somebody.

I'm not sure who I'm going to sue, but I'll work it out.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Jonathon on March 24, 2007, 02:15:33 PM
I'd sue Invision Power Services. They're the ones who made the board software, after all.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 24, 2007, 02:16:32 PM
Yeah, but they don't have Creepy Eyes.

That's emotional distress, right there.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Annie Subjunctive on March 24, 2007, 02:38:11 PM
Quote
And in my experience, it's only men who say, "But he IS a gender-neutral pronoun if you just think of it that way!"
I say that.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 24, 2007, 02:39:39 PM
:fear:
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Jonathon on March 24, 2007, 04:44:22 PM
Quote
Quote
And in my experience, it's only men who say, "But he IS a gender-neutral pronoun if you just think of it that way!"
I say that.
I guess there's an exception to every rule.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Tante Shvester on March 24, 2007, 06:19:31 PM
Quote
Yeah, but they don't have Creepy Eyes.
Quote
:fear:

Sez who?
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: rivka on March 24, 2007, 10:29:22 PM
Quote
Quote
While you were away, Annie, he even convinced me .
And I'm so darn proud.
Yes, I know. :P

And what the heck was going on with the extra space after "me"? How odd.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: AFR on March 24, 2007, 11:35:16 PM
Here's another way to avoid the pronoun issue in that statement, brought to you by the always helpful 19th century: Thank you for submitting a message to Friend's Name. Said Friend's Name will be notified.

It's like a half-pronoun! Genius!
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Tante Shvester on March 24, 2007, 11:39:05 PM
Quote
Here's another way to avoid the pronoun issue in that statement, brought to you by the always helpful 19th century: Thank you for submitting a message to Friend's Name. Said Friend's Name will be notified.

It's like a half-pronoun! Genius!
It's anti-pronoun.

Maybe it's proverb.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: AFR on March 25, 2007, 10:13:22 PM
Wouldn't an anti-pronoun be a connoun?

Quick poll: Are you for or against nouns?
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 26, 2007, 06:49:52 AM
If we can capture enough anti-pronouns in a magnetic bottle, we'll have a virtually unlimited energy source.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Tante Shvester on March 26, 2007, 07:24:56 AM
Quote
Quick poll: Are you for or against nouns?
I am pronoun.

No, that's not right.  

I is a pronoun.

No, that's not right, either.

::head asplodes::
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Annie Subjunctive on March 26, 2007, 05:36:00 PM
I is a pronoun.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 26, 2007, 06:20:29 PM
So is me.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Icarus on March 26, 2007, 06:39:19 PM
Quote
Wouldn't an anti-pronoun be a connoun?
It's an antecedent.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Tante Shvester on March 26, 2007, 10:37:15 PM
Quote
So is me.
You is?
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 27, 2007, 06:14:08 AM
Exactly.

So is they.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Tante Shvester on March 27, 2007, 06:16:49 AM
:wacko:  
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Jonathon on March 27, 2007, 06:44:37 PM
I think Joe wins.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Icarus on March 27, 2007, 06:46:40 PM
*preen*
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: AFR on March 28, 2007, 11:55:13 PM
Didn't know you had feathers.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Tante Shvester on March 29, 2007, 05:06:04 AM
You didn't know that Icarus had feathers? :sarcasm:  
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Farmgirl on March 29, 2007, 06:10:44 AM
Wow -- apparently AFR has never Seen You (http://www.joeicarus.com/).

FG
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Porter on March 29, 2007, 06:15:26 AM
I know he used to have feathers, but I thought he lost them.
Title: Grammar Gripe
Post by: Tante Shvester on March 29, 2007, 01:28:41 PM
From the excessive preening, I suppose.