Socially Weird Questions
Let me start off by saying that I am by no means an expert on etiquette or protocol. I don’t care much for formalities or anything like that; I’m a fairly laid-back guy. However, I’m still well aware of the fact that there are certain things you don’t ask people, particularly if they’re strangers. Maybe it’s my problem for not being very talkative, but I don’t appreciate going into a store or restaurant and having one of the employees ask me weird, overly personal questions.
Examples:
- Ruth and I had just had a bad day at work. It was a Friday, and we had originally thought we’d be doing something with her friends immediately after work, so we came in late and stayed late so that we could go straight there. Turns out we misunderstood and had the wrong day, so we stayed late for nothing. Traffic back to Provo was absolutely horrible. We were both very ornery and hungry, so we got off the freeway and went somewhere to eat. The first thing our waitress asked was, “Are you having a good day?” Not “How are you doing?” which can be answered with a vague and noncommittal response, but a much more personal question, the answer to which I did not feel like sharing. I smiled tightly and said, “It’s been a long day.”
- The other day Ruth and I went to a music store to get some music for the upcoming Christmas program at church. At the checkout counter, Ruth decided to pay with a check so that it would be easier to get reimbursed from the bishopric. As she’s writing the check, the guy at the counter asks, “So who pays the bills in your family?” What? Too stunned to say, “I don’t think that’s any of your business,” I answered, “Uh, I do, I guess.” He seemed satisfied with that. Then, a few moments later, he asked, “So, do you do it all online?” I answered that I did, and he said that he was trying to get his wife to do the same. What in the crap?
- I was at Wal-Mart the other day buying my new watch, and I decided to grab some cereal while I was there (because they have good cereal for cheap). As I was buying the cereal, the checker said, “I see you’re cursed with curly hair, too.” I laughed one of those short, fake social laughs, the kind that always fills me with self-loathing, and said, “Yeah, I guess so.” I haven’t actually felt like my hair was a curse since Cicada convinced me to grow it out. Then, as I was just about to leave, she asked me what kind of moisturizer I use. “For my hair, you mean?” “Yeah,” she said. “Just regular Suave stuff,” I said and shrugged, edging toward the door. ” “Oh. My hair’s too dry.” Um, okay, thanks. Why do I care to know that? I think I offered some sort of noncommittal grunt of sympathy and turned to leave.
What’s up with people? Have we thrown all social code out the window? Have we no concept of what’s proper and improper anymore? This world is already hard enough for an introvert like me, and sometimes I feel like it’s only going to get worse. Maybe I’ll just crawl in a hole and stay there and wait for the Armageddon between the introverts and extroverts, when the cruel oppressors shall be thrown down and stop trying to force their way into our lives, and the meek shall truly inherit the earth.
COMMENTS
10 thoughts on “Socially Weird Questions”
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Brinestone
For what it’s worth, I really hope your “curse” is passed on to at least one of our children.
pooka
Remember that girl with curly hair in the X-men movie, who happened to be on the screen when the voiceover says “some with gifts so extreme…” Something something about being a danger to themselves or others.
Both of my daughters had curls when they were born, but when I cut it the older one didn’t have curls at all. They younger one has a slight wave, but it’s sort of sad. I used to say she had hobbit hair because it was really wavy and had a variety of shades in it. I finally had to cut their hair because they would cry when I brushed it.
JB
I love curly hair. Lunkwill’s got it and I think it’s freakin’ hot. Especially when it’s grown out enough.
Brinestone
Also, when you crawl in your hole, can you make room for me too?
cicada
Oh wow. These stories are incredible! Cursed with curly hair?? I second Brinestone and wish your offspring to inherit the curse! Seriously, though. I’d love to walk into the gym some day and have someone say something like, “So. You’re obviously a first-timer, too, fatty.” It’s gonna happen…
Anna
You know, I have a feeling that in spite of the possibility to speak with virtualy millions people on the Internet people feel more and more lonely. Maybe that’s why they try to establish a link with people they absolutely don’t know but see in real?
Farmgirl
Well, I’d have to say, unfortunately, that I am much like these types of clerks you encountered. I could see myself asking you any or all of those things. Because I have a tendency to say whatever pops into my head, and thinking I’m being friendly by taking the effort to make conversation, I ask them. I may have to re-evaluate how I conduct myself, in light of your reaction to these people. I would not know it if someone found a conversation starter such as that (from me) to be offensive.
Kat
I don’t get personal with questions, but I often talk to people in public. I hate that I have a standard conversation opening, but it’s been time-tested and doesn’t seem to cause offense.
Jon Boy
I don’t mind when someone starts talking to me in public, so long as they’re not pushy. But I try not to ask questions that the person won’t want feel comfortable answering. Thus I do not ask questions involving things like personal finances, the unpleasantness of someone’s day, or their grooming habits.
Tolkien Boy
It’s a little difficult knowing what people will find offensive and what they won’t. None of the things that you mentioned would have bothered me at all. But if someone asks me what I’m doing when it’s obvious, and then answer their own question, I have a tendency to stare at them until the whites of my eyes consume my pupils.
Oh, and I just fixed my link to your blog, so I can read more often now. Happy day.